blog from the future

nothing like an open mic night to give you a nice little wakeup call. i could barely hear my vocals and my guitar was loud as shit. not the best combination for an emo singer songerwiter like myself all self conscious about singing.

what’s the best is when everyone leaves during your set… and the remainders are obviously not listening to you. the one or two people who give the polite applause. sometimes it’s all about your friends. of which i have few. the dude who followed me up apparently had quite a few friends there, and everyone dug his song about a porn star. it was somewhat humbling.

and i find myself questioning my mood swings. all of a sudden i feel like a keg of dynamite. in the grand scheme of things everything is fine and i find myself telling myself that more and more.
then i hear a dog bark again and it’s hard to be all zen about it.
obviously the last thing you want to hear about from the future is my own personal bullshit but also isn’t that the purpose of a blog? thoughts and feelings or whatever they call it these days. um well that was a pointless post. take care, present dwellers.

tonight i rode my bicycle to and from improv class, without wearing my backpack. it was nice to feel the wind on my back. i noticed what a pleasant and slight change it was when i was riding over the bridge.

also while i crossed the bridge, i saw some guy talking to someone on a boat below on the water. i wondered if they knew each other. if they didn’t know each other then i’d wonder about who started the conversation, and what they talked about. i pondered about this for about 20 seconds as i passed by the guy.

tonight was the first time i consistently did long scenes. and it was weird. usually i’m used to doing like a 2-3 minute scene, but tonight they were stretched out and it was kind of nice to be on stage for so long but also a bugout when you don’t have that quick exit.

after i got home i sat and watched the water for a little bit, and really gave some thought to what i am searching for. i tend to do that at large bodies of water. i remember beeing a billiards partner to some random stranger at a bar in chicago. i was searching for a new city to move to, and had mentioned i wanted to live by the ocean. he said he had just visited an ocean for the first time the past summer and he never realized what a spiritual place it was.

that sentence has always stuck with me and likely always will.

and